


Try and stop me

by MissCellophane



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Adult Peter Parker, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I didn't forget her this time!, Mischievous Peter Parker, Not Canon Compliant, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter uses his looks to get things, Publix cookies, Tell me if I should change the rating or add any tags, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Well crack-ish, also may's alive!, but in like a funny good way, everyone else is either exasperated or amused by it, for the most part anyway, light cursing, publix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 02:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20556884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCellophane/pseuds/MissCellophane
Summary: "Peter." He started, exasperation clear in his tone, "You really need to stop using the fact that you look twelve to get free cookies at Publix." Steve looked at him with disappointment."But it's a FREE cookie!" Peter retorted "Who am I to resist a FREE cookie?""A responsible adult." Steve replied easily.Peter looked at him offended "You're just jealous no one offered YOU a free cookie." He took a bite of his cookie pointedly.Steve pressed a hand to his temple.Or five times Peter uses his childlike looks to get free stuff/discounts and One time someone used it to their advantage.





	Try and stop me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything 
> 
> Come on, Peter would so use his looks to get free things and discounts. (Someone stop me, I can't stop writing about Peter Parker, help.)

**One- Publix**

"Are we done yet?" Peter sighed as they walked down the bakery aisle.

Steve glanced at him "No, I still need to get milk, eggs, and some butter. We ran out again." Steve had decided it would be best to get the cold things last but he had wanted to look the bakery over first as both Sam and Pepper had wanted some muffins for breakfast.

Peter groaned "I'm so bored though." He whined.

"You wanted to come with." Steve stated, setting down four boxes of muffins into the cart "You knew we were just getting groceries." He reminded him as he looked over the rest of the baked goods on the table. Should he also get a few danishes? Did anyone in the team even eat them?

Peter huffed, not responding. But It wasn't because he didn't have a smart retort or anything, honestly, he just didn't feel like replying. _Really_.

Peter let his gaze drift around the store, there was an older couple a few yards away arguing about which pie to get for their family dinner, a few feet away from them was a woman looking at the cakes curiously, her baby fast asleep in the baby carrier she was wearing. Over by the bakery counter was a family of four, the two kids picking out cookies from the glass container set aside for children.

Peter's eyes lit up. He shot a glance at Steve but the man was focused on the different kinds of deserts spread out on the many tables surrounding him. Seeing as he wasn't looking he slipped away quietly to the counter, greeting the woman quietly.

The woman behind it smiled at him "Hello young man. Would you like a cookie?" She asked, "Kids get them free." She informed him brightly.

Peter nodded "Can I? What kind do you have?" He asked, shyly glancing up through his lashes.

"Well, we have sprinkle sugar cookies, chocolate chip and macadamia nut. Which would you like?" She waved a hand over the glass container.

Peter hummed as he looked them over before he sighed sadly, "Too bad I can't try all of them." He pouted.

The woman laughed "Well, I won't tell if you don't." She winked at him as she lifted one of each cookie out and into a bag, holding it out to him afterward.

Peter gasped "Oh no, I couldn't possibly!" He replied with wide eyes, waving his hands a bit.

She smiled "It's fine, I have more in the back. Believe me, a couple of cookies missing wouldn't do much." She winked at him again "Besides, they _are_ free."

Peter brightened "Really? Ok then. Thank you so much!" He gushed taking the bag.

She watched him with a fond smile tugging at her lips and soft amusement in her eyes.

"Of course! Have a nice day." She chimed with a wave goodbye.

"Thank you again!" Peter beamed back as he left.

He pulled out the sugar cookie as he walked over to Steve, The man took one look at the cookie in his hand and sighed.

"Peter," He started, exasperation clear in his tone, "You really need to stop using the fact that you look twelve to get free cookies at Publix." Steve looked at him with disappointment.

"But it's a _free_ cookie!" Peter retorted "Who am I to resist a _free_ cookie?"

"A responsible adult." Steve replied easily.

Peter looked at him offended "You're just jealous no one offered _you_ a free cookie." He took a bite of his cookie pointedly.

Steve pressed a hand to his temple.

.....

**Two - Ice cream shop**

Clint walked into the ice cream shop, his children, Morgan and Peter behind him. He shot the man a look of amusement.

"You know, When I offered to get the kids ice cream I didn't really mean you too, Pete." He said, amused.

"Excuse you, I am a kid at heart." Peter retorted easily. 

"No, you're a cheapskate, that's what you are." Lila stated dryly.

Peter stuck his tongue out at her "Jerkface."

"Idiot." Lila instantly shot back.

Cooper rolled his eyes "You're both idiots." He stated.

"Hey!" They replied, glaring at him.

Morgan pressed a hand to her forehead "Why am I friends you?" She wondered aloud.

"Kids," Clint shook his head as he hefted Nate in his arms "Just pick what ice cream you want." He then shot Peter a look "You are paying for yourself." He added.

Peter shrugged "Fine with me. They have two scoops for half off right now."

Morgan stared at him "That deal is for kids fourteen and under." She reminded him "It's why we're here."

Peter grinned "I know!" He winked and confidently walked over to the cashier, greeting him cheerfully.

Cooper snorted "Spider-Man everyone." He muttered dryly "Using his looks to get cheap discounts."

Lila sighed, "It's not the first time either." 

"Definitely not the last." Morgan added, "He'll milk it until he finally looks his age. and then he'll try to get the senior discounts." 

Clint laughed as he listened to the kids' conversation because it _was_ true.

.....

**Three - Movie theater**

"Kid," Tony paused before starting again with a look of utter exasperation "I'm Tony freaking Stark. You don't need to get a kid's ticket. I could buy out this building and still not have made a dent in my account." He reminded him.

Peter shrugged, "Yeah, but how could I deny her? She had already put it through and It would only have embarrassed her if I said anything." He didn't seem truly bothered though that the teenager manning the front desk had mistaken him for a kid and not the twenty-year-old adult he was. 

Tony shook his head "Whatever, do you do that a lot? Use your looks to get the cheaper kids ticket, I mean." He wondered, looking at his pseudo-son.

Peter shot him a look of mock innocence "I have no idea what you mean Mr.Stark. I would never abuse the fact that I look like a kid to get discounted and free stuff! How immoral!" He pressed a hand to his chest as if offended.

Tony snorted "Sure," He gently pushed Peter over to the food counter "What kind of candy do you want?"

.....

**Four - Buffet**

"Kids eat free." Pepper read out loud, she shot Peter a look "Of course that's why you chose this place for our family dinner."

Morgan shook her head "I'm not even surprised anymore. How do you deal with him?" She asked, turning to Aunt May who was standing next to her. The woman pressed a hand to her mouth, covering a grin as she replied,

"He's been doing this since he was fourteen and realized he could get away with it." She informed them "And it's pretty helpful when we're tight on money." She added lightly.

Tony stared at Peter "I'm Tony Stark." He felt like he needed to remind him.

Peter blinked right back "But _kids_ eat _free_." He retorted instantly.

Harley and Abby, who had been visiting the Starks, shared equally amused looks.

"This happen a lot?" Abby asked Pepper curiously as she turned to look at her, Harley on the other hand was watching Tony and Peter bicker with amusement.

The strawberry blonde nodded "Too often." She sighed out.

Harley snorted "Course it does."

He couldn't hold back his laughter anymore as he overheard Tony and Peter repeatedly shouting, "I'm _Tony_ _Stark_!" "Yeah, but _kids_ _eat_ _free_!", back and forth.

Morgan covered her face in her hands "My brother's an idiot." She complained loudly.

Abby patted her on the shoulder "I feel you there." She agreed, watching as Harley nearly fell over in his laughing fit.

.....

**Five - Contest**

"Peter," Ned hesitated "I don't know if this is right."

Peter waved him off "It'll be fine. I'll definitely win!"

Ned rolled his eyes "Of course you would! It's a contest for kids fourteen and under!"

Peter shrugged "And?"

Ned stared at him "And, You're twenty?" He replied as if it was obvious what the problem was, which it was. To everyone but Peter apparently.

MJ snorted "Has that ever stopped him before?" She stated dryly the same time Peter exclaimed,

"But the prize is a new Lego Starship! It's got five new additions and three hundred more pieces!"

MJ shoved him gently "Go kick the little kids asses Parker." She goaded.

Peter grinned and winked before walking confidently over to the woman who was hosting the contest.

"He's gonna get into so much trouble." Ned groaned, facepalming.

MJ smirked, holding up her phone "I know. It's gonna be hilarious."

.....

**\+ One - Gala **

Tony sighed again as he looked the other attendees over. They were all the same. Annoying, greedy, conceited and full of complete bullshit. They were only attending the Stark Gala in hopes of getting Tony's money for some shit or another.

He took a sip of his water (Because Pepper cut him off from the champagne with the threat of no lab time, which she could and would do) and rolled his eyes. There was an old prune talking to him but to be honest he zoned out right after greeting the man. He couldn't even recall his name or what he did.

If only he had an easy way out of this boring party that wouldn't get Pep pissed at him. He was already on a short leash with her because he had spent all of last week holed up in the lab with Peter as they worked on his new Spider suit. They had come back out looking like zombies, passing out as soon as they reached the couch. They didn't wake up for close to twenty hours, making Tony miss three meetings and Peter miss two of his college lectures. 

Wait, Peter! Pep couldn't be mad at him if the kid was the reason he left! He would have used Morgan but she was out of town with the Barton family. Peter though was upstairs, most likely re-watching Starwars for the thousandth time and eating the last of his ice cream. But how was he gonna get the kid down here?

The geezer continued to drone in his ear as Tony thought.

Then it hit him. Peter could easily pass as his son (technically he was, as Tony had shared guardian rights with May) and people would be more reasonable with Tony leaving for a family emergency. He smirked, yup. Peter was his way out. 

He ignored the old man and pulled his phone out, pretending to reply to the text he 'received' as he sent a real one to Peter. The kid better answer or Tony was locking his lab for a _month_. Thankfully, he did answer, along with a couple of laughing emojis. But hey, at least he was on his way down.

"Mr.Stark?" The boring old man called out "Is everything alright?" He asked curiously.

Tony nodded "Ah, yeah sorry. Just got a text from Pepper about an upcoming meeting." He shot the other his polite publicity grin.

"Ah, I understand. My own secretary loves to agree to meetings, I'm completely swamped with new ones all the time." He sighed, arrogance clear in his tone.

Secretary? Was he seriously calling Pepper a _secretary_? 

"Pepper is the Stark Industries CEO. She is one of the most important employees SI has." Tony stated dryly.

The man hummed "Of course, my apologies. I just find-"

Thankfully whatever he was gonna say was cut off as everyone in the gala seemed to quiet down, turning to the watch as Peter walked through the giant room in his pajamas. His eyes were downcast and his face looked a little pale. Peter ignored the people looking at him, coming to a stop in front of Tony, His eyes wide and teary. Tony snorted, The kid was definitely enjoying this. Tony heard people whispering to each other and mentally cackled. No way Pepper could pin this on him now.

"What's up kid?" Tony asked, faking concern, setting one hand on Peter's shoulder.

Peter sniffed "I think I may be sick. My stomach hurts and my head feels like it's going to combust." He whined, voice quiet and embarrassed as he held his stomach, "I would have waited for you to come back up but Fri said I should tell you." Wow, Nat had really taught him well.

Tony ruffled his hair "Well, you do look a little pale. Come on, I think I might have something for it." He then pretended to sigh in disappointment as he turned to the group of people watching them "I apologize! But it seems my son is in need of me, I had a lot of fun today though. Please, enjoy the party without me!" He maneuvered Peter towards the door "Have a nice night!" He called out brightly as the doors closed behind them.

Peter waited until they were in the elevator to start laughing "Pep is so going to kill you. That party was set up to gain more sponsors for the Stark scholarship foundation she created."

Tony shrugged "Eh, What could I do? My son was in need of me. And it would be horrible publicity if I just pushed my obviously sick son away!" He sighed out dramatically.

Peter laughed again.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if the Avengers would ever shop at Publix but I found the cookie thing too amusing to not write it down.
> 
> P.S I didn't forget May this time! Yay~
> 
> I made a tumblr: misscellophane-ao3


End file.
